I went to Wikipedia to look into the "victim mentality" at this link. While I certainly understand why, I was dismayed to find a one-sided and rather "pop-psych" view of the topic Otto Kernberg, William Meissner, Theodore Millon, Christine Courtois, Marsha Linehan, Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker, et al, would find at least "insufficient" if not, well, worse. So I decided to correct that for use here with those who suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the pseudo-empowering -- but disquieting and even self-destructive -- compensations of the Cluster B personality disorders. The original text appears in black. My addictions thereto appear in dark red.
Victim mentality is an
acquired personality trait in
which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the
negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face
of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on
clear thought processes
and attribution. In some cases, those with a
victim mentality have in fact been the victim of wrongdoing by others or have
otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own. However, such
misfortune does not necessarily imply that one will respond by developing
a pervasive and universal victim mentality where one
frequently or constantly perceives oneself to be a victim.[1]
The term is also used in
reference to the tendency for blaming one's misfortunes on somebody else's
misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism.[2][3]
Victim mentality is primarily
developed, for example, from family members and situations during childhood.
Similarly, criminals often engage in victim thinking, believing themselves to
be moral and engaging in crime only as a reaction to an immoral world and
furthermore feeling that authorities are unfairly singling them out for
persecution.[4]
In the most general sense, a
victim is anyone who experiences injury, loss, or misfortune as a result of
some event or series of events.[5] This
negative experience, however, is insufficient for the emergence of a sense of
victimhood. Individuals may identify as a victim[1] if
they believe that:
·
they were harmed;
·
they were not the cause of the occurrence of the
harmful act [OR the were conditioned to believe
that they were the sole cause of harm done to them; e.g.: “I sinned against
God, so I should be punished”];
·
they were under no obligation to prevent the harm [OR they were powerless to prevent the harm and perhaps
even deserved it];
·
the harm constituted an injustice in that it
violated their rights (if inflicted by a person), or they possessed qualities (e.g.,
strength or goodness of character) making them persons whom that harm did not
befit [or the opposite; see above];
·
they deserve [or do NOT
deserve; see above] sympathy.[6]
The desire for empathy [which is decidedly different from sympathy: sympathy comes
from a “rescuing” identification on a Karpman Drama Triangle; empathy is observation-derived
understanding] is crucial in that the mere experience of a harmful event
is not enough for the emergence of the sense of being a victim. In order to
have this sense, there is the need to perceive the harm as undeserved, unjust
and immoral, an act that could not be prevented by the victim. The need to
obtain empathy and understanding can then emerge.[7]
Individuals harbouring a
victim mentality would believe that:[1]
·
their lives are a series of challenges directly
aimed at them;
·
most aspects of life are negative and beyond their
control;
·
because of the challenges in their lives, they
deserve sympathy [possibly leading to the use of emotional blackmail];
·
as they have little power to change things, little
action should be taken to improve their problems.
Victim mentality
is often the product of violence. [And, as such is
widely seen in the polarized, typical borderline organization of the
disempowered in the welfare and lower working classes who are Millon’s “petulant”and “impulsive” compensatory narcissists, histrionics, antisocials and/or
sadists here… and “self-destructive” and “discouraged” depressives and
dependents there.] Those who have
it usually had an experiences of crisis or trauma at its roots.[8] In
essence, it is a method of avoiding
responsibility and criticism, receiving
attention and compassion, and evading feelings of
genuine anger.
A victim
mentality may manifest itself in a range of different behaviours or ways of
thinking and talking:
·
Identifying others as the cause for
an undesired situation and denying a
personal responsibility for one's own life or circumstances.[9]
·
Exhibiting [Complex PTSD-driven] heightened
attention levels (hypervigilance) when in the
presence of others.
·
[Complex PTSD-driven, obsessive and
often paranoid hyper-] Awareness of negative intentions of
other people.
·
Believing that other people are
generally more fortunate.
·
Gaining relief from feeling pity for oneself or receiving sympathy from others.
It has been
typically characterized by attitudes of pessimism, self-pity, and repressed anger.[10]
People with
victim mentality may develop convincing and sophisticated explanations in
support of such ideas, which they then use to explain to themselves and others
of their situation.
People with
victim mentality may also be generally:
·
realist, with a general tendency to
realistically perceive a situation; yet may lack an awareness or curiosity
about the root of actual powerlessness in a situation[11]
·
introspective
·
likely to display [compensatory narcissistic] entitlement and
selfishness.[12]
·
defensive: In conversation, reading a negative intention into a neutral question and
reacting with a corresponding accusation, hindering the collective solution of
problems by recognizing the inherent conflict.
·
[dichotomizing, polarizing, and] categorizing: tending to divide people into "good" and
"bad" with no gray zone between them.[9]
·
unadventurous: generally unwilling to
take even small and calculated risks; exaggerating the importance or likelihood
of possible negative outcomes […or over-adventurous,
stimulation-seeking and even risk addicted in polarized, borderline organized
fashion]
·
exhibiting learned helplessness: underestimating one's ability or influence in a given situation; feeling
powerless [as well as compensatory narcissistic over-estimation
of one's ability or influence in a given situation]
·
self-abasing: Putting oneself
down even further than others are doing [as well as its
compensatory narcissistic opposite, grandiose pseudo-competence]
A victim
mentality may be reflected by linguistic markers or habits, such as pretending
·
not to be able to do something
("I can't..."),
·
not to have choices ("I
must...", "I have no choice..."), or
·
epistemological humility ("I
don't know")
·
[as well as the compensatory
narcissistic opposites thereof].
Other features
of a victim mentality include:[13]
·
[An histrionic / narcissistic] Need for recognition – the desire for individuals to have their victimhood
recognised and affirmed by others. This recognition helps reaffirm positive
basic assumptions held by the individual about themselves, others and the world
in general. This also implies that [in polarized,
borderline organization,] offenders
recognise their wrongdoing [here,
but not there]. At a collective level this can
encourage people to have a positive well-being with regards to traumatic events
and to encourage conciliatory attitudes in group conflicts.
·
Moral elitism – the perception of the
moral superiority of the self and the immorality of the other side, at both
individual and group levels. At an individual level this tends to involve a [polarized, dichotomistic] "black and
white" view of morality and the actions of individuals. The individual
denies their own aggressiveness and sees themself as weak and persecuted by
morally pure, while the other person is seen as threatening, persecuting and
immoral, preserving the image of a morally pure self. At a collective level,
moral elitism means that groups emphasis the harm inflicted on them, while also
seeing themselves as morally superior. This also means that individuals [who develop the complex ego defense of antisocial personality disorder or
even outright sadism] see their own violence as justified
and moral, while the outgroup's violence is unjustified and morally wrong.
·
Lack of empathy – because [ultra-narcissistic, antisocial / sociopathic] individuals are concerned with their own suffering, they tend to be
unwilling to divert interest to the suffering of others. They will either
ignore the suffering others or act more selfishly. At the collective level,
groups preoccupied with their own victimhood are unwilling to see the
outgroup's perspective and show less empathy to their adversaries, while being
less likely to responsibility for harms they commit. This results in the group
being collectively egoistic.
·
Rumination – victims tend to focus
attention on their distress and its causes and consequences rather than
solutions. This causes aggression in response to insults or threats and
decreases a desire for forgiveness by including a desire for revenge against
the perpetrator. Similar dynamics play out at the collective level.
Victims of abuse and manipulation
Victims of abuse and manipulation often get trapped into
a self-image of
victimisation. The psychological profile of victimisation includes a pervasive
sense of helplessness, passivity, loss of control, pessimism,
negative thinking, strong feelings of guilt, shame, self-blame and depression.
This way of thinking can lead to hopelessness and despair.[14] It
may take a long period of time for therapists to build a trusting relationship
with a victim. There frequently exists a distrust of authority figures, and the
expectation of being hurt or exploited.[15]
The Wikipedia authors' (because it's evident there are at least two) references can be seen at this link. My own references and resources can bee seen in A CPTSD Library.
