Religious Trauma Syndrome
is the condition experienced by people who are struggling with leaving an
authoritarian, dogmatic religion and coping with the damage of indoctrination.
They may be going through the shattering of a personally meaningful faith
and/or breaking away from a controlling community and lifestyle. RTS is a
function of both the chronic abuses of harmful religion and the impact of
severing one’s connection with one’s faith. It can be compared to a
combination of PTSD and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). This is a summary
followed by a series of three
articles (all of which appear at the end of this compilation) which
were published in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Today.
Religious Trauma
Syndrome has a very recognizable set of symptoms, a definitive set of causes,
and a debilitating cycle of abuse. There are ways to stop the abuse and
recover.
Symptoms of
Religious Trauma Syndrome:
• Cognitive: Confusion,
poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability &
self-worth, black & white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with
decision-making
• Emotional: Depression,
anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning
• Social: Loss
of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty,
behind schedule on developmental tasks
• Cultural: Unfamiliarity
with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging,
information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)
Causes of
Religious Trauma Syndrome:
Authoritarianism
coupled with toxic theology which is received and reinforced at church, school,
and home results in:
• Suppression
of normal child development – cognitive, social, emotional, moral stages
are arrested
• Damage to
normal thinking and feeling abilities -information is limited and
controlled; dysfunctional beliefs taught; independent thinking condemned;
feelings condemned
• External
locus of control – knowledge is revealed, not discovered; hierarchy of
authority enforced; self not a reliable or good source
• Physical
and sexual abuse – patriarchal power; unhealthy sexual views; punishment
used as for discipline
Cycle of Abuse
The doctrines of
original sin and eternal damnation cause the most psychological distress by
creating the ultimate double bind. You are guilty and responsible, and face
eternal punishment. Yet you have no ability to do anything about it.
(These are teachings of fundamentalist Christianity; however other
authoritarian religions have equally toxic doctrines.)
You must conform
to a mental test of “believing” in an external, unseen source for salvation,
and maintain this state of belief until death. You cannot ever stop sinning
altogether, so you must continue to confess and be forgiven, hoping that you
have met the criteria despite complete lack of feedback about whether you will
actually make it to heaven.
Salvation is not a
free gift after all. For the sincere
believer, this results in an unending cycle of shame and relief.
Stopping the Cycle
You can stop the cycle of abuse, but leaving the faith is a “mixed blessing.” Letting go of the need
to conform is a huge relief. There is a sense of freedom, excitement about
information and new experiences, new-found self-respect, integrity, and the
sense of an emerging identity.
There are huge
challenges as well. The psychological damage does not go away overnight. In
fact, because the phobia indoctrination in young childhood is so powerful, the
fear of hell can last a lifetime despite rational analysis. Likewise the damage
to self-esteem and basic self-trust can be crippling. This is why there are so
many thousands of walking wounded – people who have left fundamentalist
religion and are living with Religious Trauma Syndrome.
Mistaken Identity
Religious Trauma
Syndrome mimics the symptoms of many other disorders –
post-traumatic
stress disorder
clinical
depression
anxiety disorders
bipolar disorder
obsessive
compulsive disorder
borderline
personality disorder
eating disorders
social disorders
marital and sexual
dysfunctions
suicide
drug and alcohol
abuse
extreme antisocial
behavior, including homicide
There are many
extreme cases, including child abuse of all kinds, suicide, rape, and murder.
Not as extreme but also tragic are all the people who are struggling to make
sense of life after losing their whole basis of reality. None of the previously
named diagnoses quite tells the story, and many who try to get help from the
mental health profession cannot find a therapist who understands.
What's the Problem?
We have in our society
an assumption that religion is for the most part benign or good for you.
Therapists, like others, expect that if you stop believing, you just quit going
to church, putting it in the same category as not believing in Santa Claus.
Some people also consider religious beliefs childish, so you just grow out of
them, simple as that. Therapists often don’t understand fundamentalism, and
they even recommend spiritual practices as part of therapy. In general, people
who have not survived an authoritarian fundamentalist indoctrination do not
realize what a complete mind-rape it really is.
In the United
States, we also treasure our bill of rights, our freedom of speech, freedom of
assembly, and freedom of religion. This makes it extremely difficult to address
a debilitating disorder like RTS without threatening the majority of Americans.
Raising questions about toxic beliefs and abusive practices in religion seems
to be violating a taboo. No one wants to be pointing fingers for fear of
tampering with our precious freedoms.
But this is the
problem. Sanitizing religion makes it all the more insidious when it is toxic.
For example, small children are biologically dependent on their adult
caretakers; built into their survival mechanisms is a need to trust authority just
to stay alive. Religious teachings take hold easily in their underdeveloped
brains while the adults conveniently keep control. This continues generation
after generation, as the religious meme complex reproduces itself, and masses
of believers learn to value self-loathing and fear apocalypse.
There is hope
Awareness is
growing about the dangers of religious indoctrination. There are more and
more websites to support the growing number of people leaving harmful
religion. Slowly, services are growing to help people with RTS heal and
grow, including Journey Free. We are discovering the means by which
people can understand what they have been through and take steps to become
healthy, happy human beings.
- - - - - -
I agree with
the Complex PTSD model as a physiological description of
the result of hyper-authoritarian, hyper-fundamentalist, evangelical,
charismatic religious conditioning, in-doctrine-ation, instruction, socialization,
habituation and normalization resulting in extensive rewiring of the brain's default mode network. Winell's RTS is a very useful re-conceptualization of what such as Arterburn &
Felton were writing about 30 years ago. (See Arterburn, S.; Felton, J.: Toxic
Faith: Understanding and Overcoming Religious Addiction, Nashville:
Oliver-Nelson, 1991.)
From the
standpoint of effective treatment, I see RTS as a very useful model for
cognitive-behavioral interventions, and CPTSD -- as well as the Addiction Model -- as very useful for dealing with the
physiological and psychological upshots.
The following may
be helpful to further grasp the relevance of RTS to CPTSD and the Addiction Model:
- - - - - -
Article 1 of 3 by
Dr Marlene Winell: Understanding
Religious Trauma Syndrome: It’s Time to Recognize It
I'm really
struggling and am desperate never to go back to the religion I was raised in,
but I no longer want to live in fear or depression. It seems that I am walking
through the jungle alone with my machete; no one to share my crazy and
sometimes scary thoughts with.
After years of
depression, anxiety, anger, and finally a week in a psychiatric hospital a year
ago, I am now trying to pick up the pieces and put them together into something
that makes sense. I'm confused. My whole identity is a shredded, tangled mess.
I am in utter turmoil.
These comments are
not unusual for people suffering with Religious Trauma Syndrome, or RTS.
Religious trauma? Isn’t religion supposed to be helpful, or at least benign? In
the case of fundamentalist beliefs, people expect that choosing to leave a
childhood faith is like giving up Santa Claus – a little sad but basically a
matter of growing up.
But religious
indoctrination can be hugely damaging, and making the break from an
authoritarian kind of religion can definitely be traumatic. It involves a
complete upheaval of a person’s construction of reality, including the self,
other people, life, the future, everything. People unfamiliar with it,
including therapists, have trouble appreciating the sheer terror it can create
and the recovery needed.
My own awareness
of this problem took some time. It began with writing about my own recovery
from a fundamentalist Christian background, and very quickly, I found out I was
not alone. Many other people were eager to discuss this hidden suffering. Since
then, I have worked with clients in the area of “recovery from religion” for
about twenty years and wrote a self-help book on the subject.
In my view, it is
time for the mental health community to recognize the real trauma that religion
can cause. Just like clearly naming problems like anorexia, PTSD, or bipolar
disorder made it possible to stop self-blame and move ahead with treatment, we
need to address Religious Trauma Syndrome. The internet is starting to overflow
with stories of RTS and cries for help. On forums for former believers (such as
exchristian.net), one can see the widespread pain and desperation. In response
to my presentation
about RTS on YouTube, a viewer commented:
Thank you so much.
This is exciting because millions of people suffer from this. I have never
heard of Dr. Marlene but more people are coming out to talk
about this issue. Millions--who are quietly suffering and being treated for
other issues when the fundamental issue is religious abuse.
Barriers to treating
RTS
At present,
raising questions about toxic beliefs and abusive practices in religion seems
to be violating a taboo. In society, we treasure our freedom of speech, freedom
of assembly, and freedom of religion. Our laws and mores reflect the general
principle that if we are not harming others, we can do as we like. Forcing
children to go to church hardly seems like a crime. Real damage is assumed to
be done by extreme fringe groups we call “cults” and people have heard of
ritual abuse. Moreover, religious institutions have a vested interest in
promoting an uncritical view.
But mind-control
and emotional abuse is actually the norm for many large, authoritarian,
mainline religious groups. The sanitization of religion makes it all the more
insidious. When the communities are so large and the practices normalized,
victims are silenced.
As therapists, we
have no real appropriate diagnosis in our manual. Even in the commonly used
list of psychosocial stressors, amidst all the change and loss and disruption,
there is no mention of losing one’s religion. Yet it can be the biggest crisis
ever faced. This is important for us because people are leaving the ranks of
traditional religious groups in record numbers and they are reporting real
suffering.
In assessment, we
seem to have a blind spot. Psychotherapists do not traditionally ask a new
client much about religious background. We delve into family, medical,
educational, occupational, and other areas of personal history, including
alcoholism and mental illness in the extended family. Yet if a person had to
attend a mind-controlling church several times a week, go to a religious
school, perhaps be home-schooled, and conform to strict codes of belief and
behavior for years on end, this is hugely important.
Another obstacle
in treatment is that most people with RTS have been taught to fear psychology
as something worldly and therefore evil. It is very likely that only a fraction
of sufferers are even seeking help. Within many dogmatic, self-contained
religions, mental health problems such as depression or anxiety are considered
sins. They are seen as evidence of not being right with God. A religious
counselor or pastor advises more confession and greater obedience as curative,
and warns that a secular interpretation from a mental health professional would
be dangerous. God is called the “great physician” and a person should not need
any help from anyone else. Doubt is considered wrong, not honest inquiry.
Moreover, therapy is a selfish indulgence. Focusing on one’s own needs is
always sinful in this religious view, so RTS victims are often not even clear
how to do it. The clients I have worked with have had to overcome ignorance,
guilt, and fear to make initial contact.
What is RTS?
I suffer with
guilt and depression and struggle to let go of religion. I am also battling
with an existential crisis of epic proportions and intense heartache. . . I
feel like I am the only person in the world that this has happened to. Some
days are okay, but others are terrible. I do not know if I will make it through
this.
RTS is the
condition experienced by people who are struggling with leaving an
authoritarian, dogmatic religion and coping with the damage of indoctrination.
They may be going through the shattering of a personally meaningful faith
and/or breaking away from a controlling community and lifestyle. The symptoms
compare most easily with PTSD, which results from experiencing or being
confronted with death or serious injury and causing feelings of terror,
helplessness, or horror. This can be a single event or chronic abuse of some
kind. With RTS, there is chronic abuse, especially of children, plus the major
trauma of leaving the fold. Like PTSD, the impact is long-lasting, with
intrusive thoughts, negative emotional states, impaired social functioning, and
other problems.
With RTS, the
trauma is two-fold. First, the actual teachings and practices of a restrictive
religion can be toxic and create life-long mental damage. In many cases, the
emotional and mental abuse is compounded by physical and sexual abuse due to
the patriarchal, repressive nature of the environment.
Second, departing
a religious fold adds enormous stress as an individual struggles with leaving
what amounts to one world for another. This usually involves significant and
sudden loss of social support while facing the task of reconstructing one’s
life. People leaving are often ill-prepared to deal with this, both because
they have been sheltered and taught to fear the secular world and because their
personal skills for self-reliance and independent thinking are underdeveloped.
Key dysfunctions
in RTS are:
Cognitive:
Confusion, difficulty with decision-making and critical thinking, dissociation,
identity confusion
Affective:
Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, suicidal ideation, anger, grief, guilt,
loneliness, lack of meaning
Functional: Sleep
and eating disorders, nightmares, sexual dysfunction, substance abuse,
somatization [and autonomic imbalance leading to alostatic overload]
Social/cultural:
Rupture of family and social network, employment issues, financial stress,
problems acculturating into society, interpersonal dysfunction
These comments
from people going through it may be the best way to convey the intensity of
RTS:
I get depressed
and upset. Jesus no longer saves me. God no longer created me. What purpose is
there? What am I left with? What do ex-Christians fill the hole with? So we are
here for no reason, no divine plan. From nothing—into nothing; reality is
harsh. Plus I’m pissed that I was so brainwashed for so long - smashing CDs,
burning books, rebuking Satan. . . it’s like having your entire world turned
upside down, no, destroyed.
There is a lot of
guilt and I react to most religion with panic attacks and distress, even
photos, statues or TV. . . I guess although I was willing it was like
brainwashing. It’s very hard to shake. . . It's been a nightmare.
I felt despair and
hopelessness that I would ever be normal, that I would ever be able to undo the
forty years of brainwashing.
My form of
religion was very strongly entrenched and anchored deeply in my heart. It is
hard to describe how fully my religion informed, infused, and influenced my
entire worldview. My first steps out of fundamentalism were profoundly
pull-rightening and I had frequent thoughts of suicide. Now I’m way past that
but I still haven't quite found "my place in the universe."
I feel angry,
powerless, hopeless, and hurt---scars from the madness Christianity once had me
suffering in.
It took years of
overcoming terrific fear as well as self-loathing to emancipate myself from my cult-like
upbringing years ago. Still, the aftermath of growing up like that has
continued to affect me negatively as a professional (nightmares, paranoia,
etc.).
The world was a
strange and pull-rightening place to me. I feared that all the bad, nasty things
that I had been brought up to believe would happen to anyone who left the cult
would in fact happen to me!
Even now I still
lack the ability to trust very easily and becoming very close to people is
something I still find very alien and hard to achieve.
After 21 years of
marriage my husband feels he cannot accept me since I have left the “church”
and is divorcing me.
My parents have
stopped calling me. My dad told me I'm going to hell (he's done this my whole
life!).
I had to move away
from my home because I just could not be in the environment any more.
My entire
family is Christian and I struggle to explain to them what I am going through.
I feel extremely isolated and sometimes I wonder if I am going insane. I am
extremely lonely and I suffer from intense depression at times.
I lost all my
friends. I lost my close ties to family. Now I’m losing my country. I’ve lost
so much because of this malignant religion and I am angry and sad to my very
core. . . I have tried hard to make new friends, but I have failed miserably. .
. I am very lonely.
Many of us feel
that we cannot relate to the ‘outside’ world as the teachings we were brought
up on are all we know and our only frame of reference.
My new secular
friends wouldn't understand. My Christian friends either have abandoned me or
keep praying for me.
My attempts to
think outside the Christian box are like the attempts of a convict to escape
Alcatraz prison-- tunnel through hundreds of feet of stone and concrete,
outsmart gun-carrying guards, only to maybe make it to the choppy freezing cold
water and a deadly swim to safety. This may be a little dramatic, but true to
my heart. I now continue to try to rebuild my soul from the abuse it's endured.
The severity of
RTS ranges and depends on a number of factors. Persons most at risk of RTS are
those who were:
raised in their
religion,
sheltered from the
rest of the world,
very sincerely and
personally involved, and/or
from a very
controlling form of religion.
The important
thing for us to realize is that Religious Trauma Syndrome is real. While it may
be easier to understand the damage done by sexual abuse or natural disaster,
religious practices can be just as harmful. More people are needing help and
the taboos about criticizing religion need to be questioned.
Leaving the
Fold - A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their
Religion, Apocryphile Press, 2007
The American Religious
Identification Survey (ARIS) - from 2008 indicates that Americans by
the millions are making an exodus from their faith. The number of people who
affiliate themselves with “No religion” has nearly doubled from 1990 to 2008.
The 18.7 million people who fall in this gap have presumably come from mainline
Protestant, Baptist, and Catholic churches, which have lost 12.7 million
believers during the same timeframe.
Article 2 of 3 by
Dr Marlene Winell: Understanding
Religious Trauma Syndrome: Trauma from Religion
The kind of
religion that causes damage is that which requires rigid conformity in order to
survive in the group or have hope for the afterlife. Such a fundamentalist
religion has a closed system of logic and a strong social structure to support
an authoritarian worldview. It can be a comfortable environment as long as a
member does not question. Children learn very early to repress independent
thinking and not to trust their own feelings. For truth, believers rely on external
authority – Scripture and religious leaders. With the consequences of disbelief
so severe, leaders are able to demand acceptance of farfetched claims at the
expense of personal observation or scientific evidence. The culture rewards
individuals who contribute in religious ways. Proselytizing is generally
expected, even for children. Obedience is the highest value and personal
development truncated.
Clearly,
psychological problems can develop long before the additional trauma of leaving
the fold. I’ll use the example of Bible-based fundamentalisms. True to the
definition of trauma, survivors of these report feelings of terror,
helplessness, and horror in facing death and injury – the horror of Jesus’
death (along with other atrocities in the Bible), the terror of hell for
oneself and everyone else, and the helplessness of being a frail human in a
wicked world, a tiny player in an overwhelming cosmic drama.
There are
different churches in this category with beliefs and practices that vary but
core doctrines are consistent.
Foundation of fear
The first key doctrine is eternal damnation or annihilation for all unbelievers. This is the
terrifying backdrop for the salvation message presented to all newcomers and
all children born into the faith. The Bible is quoted, including the words of
Jesus, to paint a horrifying picture of hell as a lake of fire, a fire of
eternal torture impossible to quench despite any pleading. Mormons describe a
hell of ‘outer darkness’ that is cold and just as terrifying. Jehovah’s Witnesses
threaten the horror of dying forever at Armageddon.
Small children can
obviously visualize these things while not having the brain capacity to
evaluate the message. Moreover, the powerful social context makes rejecting
these teachings impossible. Children are completely at the mercy of religious
adults.
The salvation
formula is offered as a solution of course, but for many, it is not enough to
ward off anxiety. How does one really know? And what about losing one’s
salvation? Many adults remember trying to get ‘saved’ multiple times, even
hundreds of times, because of unrelenting fear.
I feel like much
of my life was lived in fear. I am reading all I can to continue to find peace
from what I’ve been taught. I still fear and I am 65.
I feel little hope,
because I don't know how it is remotely possible for me to ever let go of my
fear of hell. If I give up my belief system, I'll go to hell. Even though my
whole life has been so unhappy in the church--it has brought me nothing but
turmoil and heartbreak and disappointment and unanswered questions and
dissatisfaction.
A variation on
this is fear about missing the ‘rapture’ when Jesus returns. I have heard many
people recount memories of searching for parents and going into sheer panic
about being left alone in an evil world. Given that abandonment is a primary
human fear, this experience can be unforgettably terrifying. Some report this
as a recurring trauma every time they couldn’t find a parent right away.
During my freshman
year in college, I started having nightmares. In my dreams, the rapture would
happen and I would be left behind, or worse, sent to hell. Several times I woke
up just before I was tossed into the flames, my mouth open, ready to scream. My
mind was crying out, ‘Please, Jesus! Forgive me! I’m sorry I wasn’t good
enough! I’m sorry!’
After twenty-seven
years of trying to live a perfect life, I failed. . . I was ashamed of myself
all day long. My mind battling with itself with no relief. . . I always
believed everything that I was taught but I thought that I was not approved by
God. I thought that basically I, too, would die at Armageddon.
Finally, believers
simply cannot feel safe in the world. In the fundamentalist worldview, ‘the
World’ is a fallen place, dangerously ruled by Satan and his minions until
Jesus comes back and God puts everything right. Meanwhile it’s a battleground
for spiritual warfare and children are taught to be very afraid of anything
that is not Christian. Much of ‘the World’ is condemned at church, and parents
try to control secular influences through private and home schooling. Children
grow up terrified of everything outside the religious subculture, most of which
is simply unfamiliar.
I was raised on
fire and brimstone, speaking
in tongues, believing the world was a dangerous and evil place, full of
temptation and sinners seeking to destroy me/drag me down.
Self as bad
Second to the
doctrine of hell, the other most toxic teaching in fundamentalist churches is
that of ‘original sin’. Human depravity is a constant theme of fundamentalist
theology and no matter what is said about the saving grace of Jesus, children
(and adults) internalize feelings of being evil and inadequate. Most of these
churches also believe in demons quite literally, some to the point of using
exorcism on children who misbehave. One former believer called it
‘bait-and-switch theology -- telling me I was saved only to insist that I was
barely worth saving’.
When your parents
exorcised you and said you had ‘unclean’ spirits that was very very wrong. To
believe a child can have demons just shows how seriously deluded your parents
really were. You have spent your whole life being scared...being scared of your
dad, of God, of hell, the rapture, the end of the world, death as well as more
‘normal’ fears such as the dark.
I've spent
literally years injuring myself, cutting and burning my arms, taking overdoses
and starving myself, to punish myself so that God doesn't have to punish me.
It's taken me years to feel deserving of anything good.
Believers are
always in the crazy-making situation of a double bind -- having heavy personal
responsibility to adhere to religious rules but not having the ability to do
so. Never is God blamed for not answering prayer or empowering the faithful as
promised.
I spent most of my
life trying to please an angry God and feeling like a complete failure. I
didn't pray enough, read enough, love enough, etc.
To think you are
good or wise or strong or loving or capable on your own is considered pride and
the worst sin of all in this religious worldview. You are expected to derive
those qualities from God, who is perfect. Anything good you do is credited to
God and anything bad is your fault. You are expected to be like Him and follow
His perfect will. But what if it doesn’t work? Fundamentalist Christianity
promises to solve all kinds of personal problems and when it does not, it is
the individual that bears the paralyzing guilt of not measuring up.
I have tried to
use this brand of Christianity to free myself from the depression and
addictions that I have struggled with from childhood, and have done all the
things that ‘Christianity’ demanded I do. I have fasted, prayed, abstained from
secular things, tithed, received the spirit, baptized in the spirit, read the
Bible, memorized Scripture, etc. etc. None of it has worked or given me any
lasting solution. . . I have become so desperate at times, that I have wanted
to take my own life.
Cycle of abuse
A believer can never
be good enough and goes through a cycle of sin, guilt, and salvation similar to
the cycle of abuse in domestic violence. When they say they have a ‘personal
relationship’ with God, they are referring to one of total dominance and
submission, and they are convinced that they should be grateful for this kind
of ‘love’. Like an authoritarian husband, this deity is an all-powerful, ruling
male whose word is law. The sincere follower ‘repents’ and ‘rededicates’, which
produces a temporary reprieve of anxiety and perhaps a period of positive
affect. This intermittent reinforcement is enough to keep the cycle of abuse in
place. Like a devoted wife, the most sincere believers get damaged the most.
I prayed endlessly
to be delivered from those temptations. I beat my fists into my pillow in
agony. I used every ounce of faith I could muster to overcome this problem.
‘Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil’ just didn't seem to be
working with me. Of course, I blamed it on myself and thought there was something
wrong with me. I thought I was perverted. I felt evil inside. I hated myself.
I do not want to
give up my faith in Christ or God but I have NEVER been able to hold onto my
own decisions or to make them on my benefit without IMMENSE PAIN re: God’s will
which I was supposed to seek out but could not find.
Don’t think, don’t
feel
Fundamentalist
theology is also damaging to intellectual development in that it explicitly
warns against trusting one’s own mind while requiring belief in far-fetched
claims. Believers are not allowed to question dogma without endangering
themselves. Critical thinking skills are under-valued. Emotions and intuitions
are also considered suspect so children learn not to trust their own feelings.
With external authority the only permissible guide, they grow up losing touch
with inner instincts so necessary for decision making and moral development.
Fundamentalism
makes people crazy. It is a mixture of beliefs that do not make sense, causing
the brain to keep trying to understand what cannot be logical.
I really don’t
have much experience of decision making at all. I never made any plans for my
adult life since I was brought up to believe that the end of the world would
come.
I suppressed a lot
of my emotions, I developed cognitive difficulties and my thinking became
increasingly unclear. My whole being turned from a rather vibrant, positive
person to one that’s passive and dull.
Abuses of power
Added to these
toxic aspects of theology are practices in the church and religious families
that are damaging. Physical, sexual, and emotional harm is inflicted in
families and churches because authoritarianism goes unchecked. Too many secrets
are kept. Sexual repression in the religion also contributes to child abuse.
The sanctioned patriarchal power structure allows abusive practices towards
women and children. Severe condemnation of homosexuality takes an enormous toll
as well, including suicide.
I had so many pent
up emotions and thoughts that were never acknowledged. Instead of protecting me
from a horrible man, they forced me to deny my feelings and obey him, no matter
what. It’s no wonder I developed an eating disorder.
So while the
religious community can appear to offer a safe environment, the pressures to
conform, adhere to impossible requirements, and submit to abuses of power can
cause great suffering, which is often hidden and thus more miserable. More
sensitive personalities are more vulnerable as well as those who sincerely
believe the dogma. Individual churches, pastors, and parents make a big
difference too, in the way they mediate the messages of the religion.
Article 3 of 3 by
Dr Marlene Winell: Understanding
Religious Trauma Syndrome: Trauma from Leaving Religion
Religious Trauma
Syndrome (RTS) is a function of both the chronic abuses of harmful religion and
the impact of severing one’s connection with one’s faith and faith community.
It can be compared to a combination of PTSD and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). In the
last article of this series, I explained some of the toxic aspects of
authoritarian religions that cause long-term psychological damage (Bible-based
ones in particular). In this writing, I will address the trauma of breaking
away from this kind of religion.
With PTSD, a
traumatic event is one in which a person experiences or witnesses actual or
threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of
self or others. Losing one’s faith, or leaving one’s religion, is an analogous
event because it essentially means the death of one’s previous life – the end
of reality as it was understood. It is a huge shock to the system, and one that
needs to be recognized as trauma.
What it means to
leave
Breaking out of a
restrictive, mind-controlling religion is understandably a liberating
experience. People report huge relief and some excitement about their new
possibilities. Certain problems are over, such as trying to twist one’s
thinking to believe irrational religious doctrines, handling enormous cognitive dissonance in order to get by in the ‘real world’ as well, and conforming to
repressive codes of behavior. Finally leaving a restrictive religion can be a
major personal accomplishment after trying to make it work and going through
many cycles of guilt and confusion.
However, the
challenges of leaving are daunting. For most people, the religious environment
was a one-stop-shop for meeting all their major needs – social support, a
coherent worldview, meaning and direction in life, structured activities, and
emotional/spiritual satisfaction. Leaving the fold means multiple losses,
including the loss of friends and family support at a crucial time of personal
transition. Consequently, it is a very lonely ‘stressful life event’ – more so
than others described on Axis IV in the DSM. For some people, depending on
their personality and the details of their religious past, it may be possible
to simply stop participating in religious services and activities and move on
with life. But for many, leaving their religion means debilitating anxiety,
depression, grief, and anger.
Usually people
begin with intellectually letting go of their religious beliefs and then
struggle with the emotional aspects. The cognitive part is difficult enough and
often requires a period of study and struggle before giving up one’s familiar
and perhaps cherished worldview. But the emotional letting go is much more
difficult since the beliefs are bound with deep-seated needs and fears, and
usually inculcated at a young age.
Problems with
self-worth and fear of terrible punishment continue. Virtually all controlling
religions teach fear about the evil in ‘the world’ and the danger of being
alone without the group. Ordinary setbacks can cause panic attacks, especially
when one feels like a small child in a very foreign world. Coming out of a sheltered,
repressed environment can result in a lack of coping skills and personal
maturity. The phobia indoctrination makes it difficult to avoid the stabbing
thought, even many years after leaving, that one has made a terrible mistake,
thinking ‘what if they’re right?’
It is truly
amazing the pain I went through due to what was inputted into my mind… All I
know is it took such a toll on me that I did not care if I died and went to
hell to escape the hell I was in and the immense fear it put into my life.
Depression,
anxiety, fatigue, insomnia, etc... you name it. It sucks. Probably from years
of guilt being a Christian and a sinner, and thinking people I love are in
hell.
Making the break
is for many the most disruptive, difficult upheaval they have ever gone through
in life. To understand this fully, one must appreciate the totality of a
religious worldview that defines and controls reality in the way that
fundamentalist groups do. Everything about the world - past, present, and
future – is explained, the meaning of life is laid out, morality is already
decided, and individuals must find their place in the cosmic scheme in order to
be worthwhile. The promises for conformity and obedience are great and the
threats for disobedience are dire, both for the present life and the hereafter.
Controlling religions tend to limit information about the world and alternative
views so members easily conclude that their religious worldview is the only one
possible. Anything outside of their world is considered dangerous and evil at
worst and terribly misguided at best. So leaving this sheltered environment is
bursting a bubble. Everything a person has believed to be true is shattered.
My foundation has
truly dropped out from under me. Despite being told I am courageous, tenacious,
and this is rugged work, I consistently find wave after wave of grief that
overwhelms me. I can hardly believe how upended it has made my life.
My whole sense of
purpose, value, and meaning was wrapped tightly around my Christian faith...I
kept my doubts buried and crucified, and I tried hard not to think about the
troubling things of faith...A year ago, I abandoned evangelicalism...the pain I
feel is deep and raw.
The impact can
create problems with day-to-day functioning.
The amount of
inner turmoil during this time was overwhelming. It affected my daily life and
many days I didn’t want to get out of bed. I was depressed and anxious at the
same time.
Being in college was difficult. I could hardly focus on class.
I am utterly
confused and at the moment my whole life is ruined as I don't know what to
think. I've been off work a month with anxiety.
I have - for about
three years - been dependent on drinking alcohol every night for a very long
time.
Shattered
assumption framework
In the study of
trauma, certain developments are highly relevant to understanding RTS. One is
the shattered assumption framework, or ‘loss of the assumptive world’
(Kauffman, 2002). It has been used to understand traumatic loss such as death
of a loved one, but can easily be applied to loss of faith. According to Beder
(2004), ‘The assumptive world concept refers to the assumptions or beliefs that
ground, secure, stabilize, and orient people. They are our core beliefs. In the
face of death and trauma, these beliefs are shattered and disorientation and
even panic can enter the lives of those affected.’
The most damaging
traumas are those that are human-caused and involve interpersonal violence and
violation (DePrince and Freyd, 2002). (In my opinion, this would describe
indoctrinating children in fear-based religion.) This approach names three
basic assumptions held about the world that are shattered with these traumas:
the world is benevolent, the world is meaningful, and the self is worthy
(Janoff-Bulman, 1992). A fourth is sometimes included which says that others
are trustworthy (Roth and Newman, 1991). This model applies well to religion if
one thinks of the ‘world’ as that created and maintained by the religious
group. The religious version of ‘self is worthy’ is usually a paradoxical view
of the self which is both sinful and special. That is, an individual has
nothing intrinsic to be proud of but can have great purpose, and can play a
role in a cosmic, spiritual drama.
These researchers
explored the way schemas and other cognitive factors lead to humans’ cognitive
conservatism and resistance to changing basic assumptions. Another line of
research indicates negative responses in the brain when a person is confronted
with information that conflicts with strongly-held beliefs (Shermer, 2011).
Traumatic experiences shatter basic assumptions and beliefs. Conversely, a
shattering of beliefs is traumatic. Coping and healing from trauma requires an
individual to reconcile their old set of assumptions with new, modified
assumptions (DePrince & Freyd, 2002). The trauma is understood to have both
affective and cognitive components.
Loss of faith or
leaving one’s religion viewed through this lens helps to explain the intensity
of the trauma. A religion contains a large and complex set of assumptions held
to be true by the group. Rejecting the ‘meme complex’ that has been passed on
through generations is a major cognitive disruption as well as a risk of social
rejection. Panic about being helpless in a meaningless world can result.
Never have I experienced
such confusion, pain, grief, loss fear, anxiety, depression, paralysis. All
because of religion, faith, God.
It is noteworthy
that all of the most controlling, authoritarian religions make sweeping,
ultimate promises along with demands for devotion. Individuals who were most
sincere, devout, and dedicated seem to be the ones most traumatized when their
religious assumptive world crumbles. This would make sense from Kauffman’s
(2002) perspective that shattered assumptions cause the self to fragment into
pieces. As he puts it, ‘The assumptive world order is the set of illusions that
shelter the human soul.’
Some days are
better than others of course but most days are blighted by some form of dark
cloud. The real tragedy for me is that I love life - in all of its hues,
shades, problems and challenges - I just can't see life through a prescribed
formula any more.
I feel in total
crisis, panicked, and terrified of facing a future alone. No confidence in my
own decision making if it isn’t in line with Christianity, and inability to
find fulfillment from within.
For many people
who leave their faith, it is like a death or divorce. Their ‘relationship’ with
God was a central assumption, such that giving it up feels like a genuine loss
to be grieved. It can be like losing a lover, a parent, or best friend who has
always been there.
It is like a death
in the family as my god Jesus finally died and no amount of belief could
resurrect him. It is an absolutely dreadful and frightening experience and
dark night of the soul.
When I left, it
felt like I was losing a friend or even a spouse - was definitely ‘traumatic’.
Now, as an outsider, I see how crazy-making and damaging it was to me.
Betrayal trauma
theory
This approach has
challenged the traditional focus on fear as the primary response to trauma.
PTSD has been assumed to be an anxiety disorder, requiring the individual to
experience intense fear, learned helplessness, or horror in response to a traumatic
event. Treatment has emphasized corrective emotional processing.
Understanding post
traumatic distress in terms of shattered assumptions and betrayal can shed
light on effects not related to fear or terror. Freyd (1996) studied the impact
of childhood abuse, or the betrayal of a trusted caregiver, on memory, and
concluded that a low awareness of violation appears to have survival value.
These theories indicate that a cognitive appraisal which raises awareness of
violated assumptions can be traumatic.
The concept of
betrayal is important in that it changes the whole context of understanding
trauma that is human caused. First of all, society is resentful of the ways in
which victims of trauma shatter our illusions of safety and often engages in
victim blaming in order to order to maintain basic assumptions (Van der Kolk,
McFarlane, and Van der Hart, 1996). The letter to the editor printed in the
previous issue shows the way society resists recognizing that religion can do
any harm.
Secondly, and
especially in the case of Complex PTSD, which refers to ongoing, repeated
abuse, it makes a huge difference to shift the focus to relational issues. As
explained by DePrince and Freyd (2002), mainstream psychology has focused on
fear and tended to pathologize trauma survivors’ reactions. In this approach,
responsibility for the experience of fear is placed on the individual survivor,
implicitly or explicitly. Cognitive-behavioral therapies are focused on
treating the individual’s anxiety symptoms.
When betrayal is
included as an important reaction to trauma, research and treatment questions
are placed in a relational and social context. The pathology is not just in the
mind of the survivor. Relevant questions include who did the betraying, what
was the betrayal about, the relationship to the perpetrator, and the societal
response to the events. With a betrayal framework, these authors say that
closer attention is paid to the relationship between the perpetrator and victim
in interpersonal violence. (Regarding religious indoctrination, a case can be
made for emotional and mental abuse, which is also violent with long-term
effects). This framework allows for a historical context in which there may be
intergenerational transmission of trauma.
Betrayal may also
come in the form of response the survivor receives from others following the
event, such as disbelief, minimizing, or otherwise devaluing the individual’s
experience. A view of trauma that recognizes the sociocultural forces at play
helps us go beyond individual emotions and consider the community’s role in
addressing the transgression. Recognizing interpersonal betrayal in trauma
requires that we confront the reality of the harm humans can cause one another
(DePrince and Freyd, 2002).
Shattered faith
As an example of
‘loss of the assumptive world’, losing one’s religion is a special and
potentially extreme case. A shattered belief system can be devastating and
cause cognitive and affective problems, including an acute sense of betrayal.
Many ex-believers have anger about the abuse of growing up in a world of lies. They
feel robbed of a normal childhood, honest information, and opportunity to
develop and thrive. They have bitterness for being taught they were worthless
and in need of salvation, yet never able to be sure they were good enough to
make it. They have anger about terrors of hell, the ‘rapture’, demons,
apostasy, unforgivable sins, and the evil world. They resent not being able to
ever feel good or safe. Many are angry that the same teachings are inflicted on
more children continuously. They have rage because they dedicated their lives
and gave up everything to serve God. They are angry about losing their families
and their friends. They feel enormously betrayed.
The following
comments support the theories of trauma involving shattered assumptions and
betrayal.
As a child I had
an awful fear of hell, and I used to fall asleep crying cause I thought I
wasn't saved. Irrational fear leads to irrational decisions. Now with my career
in the tank, having lost contact with friends and family over my leaving the
church, I am trying to put my life back together.
So now at the age
of 43, I feel that my youth was wasted. I think about all the fun I lost out
on, all the women I rejected, and the education I could have had. I think about
all the worry, guilt and fear I've had to endure for 31 years.
I've been feeling
a mixture of anger, sadness, and desperation regarding my former ‘life of
faith’... I spent about 20 adult years as a ‘serious Christian’… trying to live
out ‘radical Biblical obedience to God’… The fact is I could NEVER totally
please God. ‘He’ made impossible demands of me and it was a fantasy to think
that he provided the actual resources necessary to fulfill them.
RTS as Complex
PTSD
The definition of
Complex PTSD is interesting in light of religious indoctrination: ‘a
psychological injury that results from protracted exposure to prolonged social
and/or interpersonal trauma with lack or loss of control, disempowerment, and
in the context of either captivity or entrapment, i.e. the lack of a viable
escape route for the victim’ (Wikipedia).
Small children who are subjected to
toxic religious teachings and practices are trapped and dependent on their
dysfunctional families. Pete Walker (2009) has developed an approach in
psychotherapy that considers emotional flashbacks to be the key symptom of
Complex PTSD. Because of the prolonged nature of the trauma, he says Complex
PTSD can be even more virulent and pervasively damaging in its effects.
(Complex PTSD has not yet been included in the DSM; nor has RTS.) This seems to
be true for many who have left religion.
When asked to
describe my past, overwhelming emotions sap my body of positive
energy...Flashbacks assault my subconscious in vicious nightmares after
dredging up this damage.
I remember many
dark nights trying to sleep being fearful of many things in life, lying there
in bed worrying while trying to sleep while considering all the nasty things
that might happen to me as a sentence from god for my suggested bad/evil choice
of leaving. The worry and lack of sleep made life and work that much harder to
handle. I even got headaches from thinking and worrying so endlessly.
A lonely trip into
the unknown battling that what you have been taught, questioning over and over
again that what might be true or untrue. Feelings of guilt and fear of daring
to trust your own natural human instincts or reasoning. A pathway of uncharted
waters, supposedly booby trapped by devils and monsters.
I had a nervous
breakdown as the beliefs that I was being taught were not really helping me
develop as an individual. I have spent the last 5 years in and out of hospital
for suicide attempts and things were gradually getting worse... Every day
became a nightmare, I became immersed in a depression that had only one way
out... suicide. I didn't want to kill myself, however life was so miserable
that suicide seemed like a reasonable option.
I have just woken
up from another nightmare. My husband says I cry out in the night and cry in my
sleep. I was in an empty room with no escape. Totally alone and so so scared.
Why RTS is so
invisible
With RTS, the
social context is completely different from other trauma recovery situations.
Natural disaster experiences, childhood sexual abuse or family violence are all
understandable to friends and professionals who are likely to be sympathetic
and supportive. In the case of religious abuse, a person is often hounded by
family and church members to return, and reminded in many ways that they are
condemned otherwise. In essence, they are pressured to return to the
perpetrator of their abuse. Their suffering is not seen. In fact, they are made
pariahs when they do not return and this social rejection is an added layer of
serious injury absent from other varieties of trauma.
A survivor of
religious trauma is also surrounded by potential triggers, especially in more
religious communities. Symbols of sexual abuse are not celebrated, but someone
with RTS is expected to enjoy Christmas and Easter, or at least be quiet.
Religion holds a [socialized and normalized] place of privilege in society. Churches are everywhere and
prayers and hymns are ubiquitous. In many communities, to not believe the
prevailing religion makes one a deviant, putting one at risk of social
rejection, employment problems, and more.
Anger for other
kinds of abuse is considered normal and acceptable, whereas ex-believers are
supposed to forgive and ‘not throw the baby out with the bathwater’. They are
called too sensitive or accused of taking religion the wrong way. People
understand nightmares about wartime combat but not about Armageddon. Expressing
feelings is usually dangerous. Too often, the result is a shaming attack rather
than support, i.e., ‘blaming the victim’.
From an orthodox,
conservative point of view, people who have left their religion and are
suffering are seen as failures - they simply haven’t done it right. A
fundamentalist Christian view is that they have been ‘rebellious’ and brought
about their own problems. Depression and anxiety are often considered sins or
even demonic attacks. Personal misery is seen as a natural result of rejecting
God; being apostate brings God’s punishment.
A religious
counselor will redirect a client back to the religion, typically with biblical
guidelines to repent and become more devout. The client suffering with RTS is
then likely to try harder to meet the impossible demands of the religion, much
like returning to a situation of domestic violence. They will do this because of
the authoritarian nature of such counseling, but fail again and feel hopeless
or evil or crazy. No one concludes that it is the religion itself, which is at
fault. (And religious counselors often have very little training in psychology
while getting exempted from standard licensing requirements.)
In many seemingly
secular settings, religious views are still considered ‘normal’ and even
advocated in aggressive ways. In medicine and in treatment for drugs and
alcohol, professionals assume that pushing religion is acceptable. Yet people
struggling with RTS-related substance abuse simply cannot stomach the religious
tone of Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, and get very little sympathy. [I feel a need to comment here: AA does not stipulate any sort of deity, but does insist that its members come up with a "higher power" of their own election that is not the ego or belief system that was in place when they were drinking alcoholically.]
In one case, a
client of mine who was in a psychiatric ward because of panic attacks due to
RTS told me that a doctor told her she needed to get right with God. Imagine
giving parallel advice with some other kind of abuse. I also had a call from a
veteran who was searching for an alternative because his counselor at the VA
said he preferred working with people who believed in hell because he could get
them to behave.
In many ways, a
person with RTS can be retraumatized again and again through minimizing and
denial. This can cause regression to an earlier state of fear by triggering the
phobia indoctrination. One person wrote about the unequal social status of
religious abuse:
If I were to say
that Christianity took my childhood, filled me with fear, paralyzed me with
anxiety, annihilated my Self, robbed my body of feeling, stole my future, gave
me an unequal marriage role, and cost me thousands of dollars, Christians would
dismiss it with ‘You were in the wrong church, you take things too seriously,
or you made your choices based on your own free will’.
It is no better
when I talk to those raised outside of Christianity. They gently suggest that
I’m over sensitive or making a big deal out of nothing or that I don’t
understand who Jesus really was or that it couldn’t have been all that bad
since I turned out to be such a nice person.
Why is it so hard
for people to understand that Christianity completely messed up my life?!?!?!
If I had been
discriminated against, beaten, sexually abused, traumatized by an act of
violence, or raped, I would be heard. I would receive sympathy. I would be
given psychological care. I would have legal recourse and protection. However,
I am a trauma victim that society does not hear.
RTS victims feel
very alone because, except on certain online forums, there is virtually no
public discourse in our society about trauma or emotional abuse due to
religion. This gap was noticed by a young man who wrote to me about his YouTube
deconversion series:
I've been working
on the 4th part, focused on trauma, for better than a month now and having a
hard time with it. I've been reading a lot about trauma and finding myself
amazed by how closely what we attribute to trauma and PTSD align with my
experience of deconversion. No one talks about religion and trauma. Not in the
scientific journals, not on trauma resources... I thought maybe I would be the
only one to address it.
Child Protective
Services will aggressively rescue children who are physically or sexually
abused, but the deep wounding and mental damage cause by religion, which can
last a lifetime, does not get attention. The institutions of religion in our
culture are still given a privileged place in many ways. Criticism is very
difficult. Parents are given undue authority to treat their children as they
wish, even though the authoritarian and patriarchal attitudes of religion,
along with too much respect for the Fourth Commandment to obey parents, has
resulted in harsh and violent parenting methods. Even the sexual misdeeds of
the Catholic clergy have been amazingly difficult to confront. Children are
treated like the property of parents or parish, and too much goes on behind
closed doors.
Multiple issues
Space
considerations prevent a full description of all the challenges a person faces
over a lifetime of recovering from religious indoctrination and living in a
religious environment. Cognitive problems can be serious because
decision-making for oneself is difficult and critical thinking skills are
undeveloped. A person healing and recovering needs to unlearn many
dysfunctional ways of thinking and behaving and then rebuild. They are faced
with reconstructing reality, in essence. The old assumptive world is gone and a
new one must be built. A new sense of self has to be developed, and personal
responsibility for life has to be accepted. The existential crisis can be enormous
when one feels entirely groundless and must start over.
One of my biggest
problems has been the inability to trust my own intellect.
I strained
everyday to get rid of the old beliefs, but they never seemed to go away.
I guess ultimately
I’ve made my peace intellectually. I’ve been reading and learning religious
history, philosophy, etc for almost a decade. But I wonder...emotionally I
can’t convince myself I’m not going to hell for every little thing. Does it
ever get easier? Does 20 years of intimidation, coercion, fear mongering and
bigotry take just as long to disappear?
Adding to the
challenge is the all-too-common rejection from family and friends. For most
people from a religious family, they must also reconstruct an entire social
structure, while learning to view other people and the world in completely new
terms. This can even require new employment. Marriages suffer when only one
leaves the faith, and divorce is not uncommon.
I left the church
and told my family almost two years ago; they are sure I am going to hell and
taking my 3 small children with me. All friends were Christians and are no
longer around. My community is deeply religious, and I feel isolated and
afraid. I think I need counselling, but don't know where to turn.
I have been associated
with the religion of my parents since birth. I am now in my fifties. If I leave
openly I will be disfellowshipped and WILL lose all my family and friends. I
suffer from OCD and severe depression. What should I do?...if I go, my wife
will stay – I foresee nothing but grief ahead for me.
In conclusion, I
believe it cannot be overstated that mental health professionals need to
recognize the seriousness of Religious Trauma Syndrome. Religion can and does
cause great personal suffering, fractured families, and social breakdown. There
are many individuals needing and deserving recognition and treatment from
informed professionals. We need to let go of making religion a special case in
which criticism is taboo. It is our ethical responsibility to be aware and our
human obligation to be compassionate.
References
Beder, J
(2004-2005) ‘Loss of the assumptive world – How we deal with death and
loss’, Omega, 50(4), 255-265
DePrince, A.P.
& Freyd, J.J. (2002) ‘The harm of trauma: Pathological fear, shattered assumptions,
or betrayal?’ in J. Kauffman (Ed.) Loss of the Assumptive World (pp.
71-82), New York: Brunner-Routledge
Janoff-Bulman, R.
(1992) Shattered Assumptions: Towards a new psychology of trauma, New York:
Free Press
Kauffman, J.
(2002) ‘Safety and the assumptive world’ in J. Kauffman (Ed.), Loss of the
Assumptive World (pp. 205-211), New York: Brunner-Routledge
Shermer, M.
(2011) The Believing Brain, New York: Times Books
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