Pair A Docks: Out of the Cult and all Alone now. How do I Cope?

"I found my parachute and jumped out of the burning plane. But then, as I drifted slowly towards reality, I looked down and saw no one waiting for me on the ground below. It was like I landed in the middle of the desert without a compass."

In my experience here on this Reddit sub (and elsewhere) this is a major -- if not the #1 issue -- for adolescents and young adult apostates. As well as older adults suffering from the developmental stunting so common in those who reached and remained at the fifth to seventh levels of any Cultic Pyramid for several years... or never knew any social frame of reference but the cult. (And a topic Marlene "Religious Trauma Syndrome" Winell spends a lot of time on in the third of the articles linked to the right hand column on her website.)

Ask anyone who's specialized in the post-exit treatment of life-long cult members: Any frame of reference, experience or interest outside the cult is minimal if existent at all. The exitor is a "stranger in a strange land" suddenly confronted with having to use the eyes, ears, feelings and senses in general he or she was taught NOT to use. "Our way is The way. You don't need to look to see, listen to hear or feel to sense what is. We will tell you."

And so the exitor is like an infant in a world of possibilities he or she has previously ignored owing to the cult's conditioning, in-doctrine-ation, instruction, imprinting, socialization, habituation and normalization to Our way is The way.

Life on the outside can and should be expected to be perplexing. But if one turns on the television, listens to the radio, goes on the Internet, or even just goes out and walks around, his or her eyes, ears, feelings and senses can be counted upon over time to bring What Is into comprehension.

Intrigue and motivation reliably follow, just as they do for the newborn infant.

Supportive attachment to peers is "crucial" for young people for several reasons, not the least of which is they don't have enough life experience yet to have a sense "who they are," nor are their brains fully developed and capable of the detached self-awareness that makes a sense of "Identity" possible. And without that, comfortable detachment and separation from The Crowd is a real challenge.

The therapist who knows Marlene Winell's Religious (& Cultic) Trauma Syndrome understands this and addresses the issue, grasping as they (hopefully) do the temporary physical limitations in the brains of those subjected to group dynamic mind control over the course of years. In FACT, the brains of most cult members lack vital neural connections that facilitate trusting, functional, interpersonal relationship in several key locations. Fortunately, however, the brain is plastic, and -- with expert help from such as those trained by Winell, Catherine Mann, Bonnie Zeiman, Janja Lalich, Madelyn Tobias, Alexandra Stein and others -- the brain can be "rebuilt" so that appropriate Re-Development can take place.

And the dietary, OTC & prescription medicinal, and psychotherapeutic technologies for that are advancing so rapidly now that one will probably be able to read a book and pretty much do it themselves with only minimal professional coaching before the first quarter of this century is over. (Really.)

In the meantime, however, may I simply suggest that those finding it difficult to find their was out of "the desert" read Managing Cult Withdrawal (in not-moses’s reply to the OP on that thread) and stay engaged with others here on this Reddit sub to support them as we all grope toward functional and satisfying lives?

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