Monday, June 1, 2020

Is it Possible to be Addicted to Attention?

Someone asked me that this afternoon. I answered thus: 
There's a name for it in the DSM and the ICD: "Histrionic Personality Disorder."
Regular attendance at the Evolution of Psychotherapy conferences (and a fair amount of post-doctoral research; see the Resources & References below) makes it clear (to me, anyway) that current thinking and research point back to a subtler form of child abuse in which children experience repeated instances of parental failure to understand what they child is trying to communicate to a parent or parents at best... and wholesale lack of concern for what the child is trying to tell them (e.g.: "Hey, dammit! I'm scared shitless here.") by a parent who is depressed, substance-addicted, workaholic or otherwise so distracted they cannot see, hear or sense their children at worst.
The child grows up stuck in insecure attachment -- which usually includes at least mild to moderate symptoms of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and developmental disturbances including Learned Helplessness with Compensatory Narcissism -- and prone to doing anything he or she can to get people to Pay Attention and, well, understand, even when it's no longer necessary. Because the child's mind has become an adolescent and then adult mind that is conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, socialized, habituated, normalized and neurally “hard-wired” to continue to do what it did as a frightened and desperate infant, toddler or pre-schooler. And the entire schema is stuck in an immense default mode network in the person's brain.
IME (coming from lengthy previous experience in addiction treatment), the result is literally an addiction to possible, hopefully securitizing attachment via attention-seeking... with a considerable component of codependency.
Is this a stress related response?
Autonomic imbalance into near-constant Fight / Flight / Freeze / Faint / Feign (or Fawn) Responses that can lead to allostatic overload and sustained Fry and Freak are waaaaaay common in people with HPD.
Looking back on 32 years in the trenches, I'd say I've seen it hundreds of times.
Resources & References
Beck, A.; Freeman, A.: Cognitive Theory of the Personality Disorders, New York: Guilford Press, 1990.
Behary, W.; Young, J.; Siegel, D.: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving & Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, 2nd Ed., Oakland: New Harbinger, 2013.
Benjamin, L. S.: Interpersonal Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders, Second Edition, New York: Guilford Press, 1996.
Bowlby, J.: A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development, London: Routledge; New York: Basic Books, 1988.
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