Thursday, August 20, 2020

The Popular Notion of "Victim Mentality" vs. Borderline Organized "Righteous" <------> "Discouraged" Victimhood

I went to Wikipedia to look into the "victim mentality" at this link. While I certainly understand why, I was dismayed to find a one-sided and rather "pop-psych" view of the topic Otto Kernberg, William Meissner, Theodore Millon, Christine Courtois, Marsha Linehan, Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker, et al, would find at least "insufficient" if not, well, worse. So I decided to correct that for use here with those who suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the pseudo-empowering -- but disquieting and even self-destructive -- compensations of the Cluster B personality disorders. The original text appears in black. My addictions thereto appear in dark red.


Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on clear thought processes and attribution. In some cases, those with a victim mentality have in fact been the victim of wrongdoing by others or have otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own. However, such misfortune does not necessarily imply that one will respond by developing a pervasive and universal victim mentality where one frequently or constantly perceives oneself to be a victim.[1]

The term is also used in reference to the tendency for blaming one's misfortunes on somebody else's misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism.[2][3]

Victim mentality is primarily developed, for example, from family members and situations during childhood. Similarly, criminals often engage in victim thinking, believing themselves to be moral and engaging in crime only as a reaction to an immoral world and furthermore feeling that authorities are unfairly singling them out for persecution.[4]

Foundations

In the most general sense, a victim is anyone who experiences injury, loss, or misfortune as a result of some event or series of events.[5] This negative experience, however, is insufficient for the emergence of a sense of victimhood. Individuals may identify as a victim[1] if they believe that:

·         they were harmed;

·         they were not the cause of the occurrence of the harmful act [OR the were conditioned to believe that they were the sole cause of harm done to them; e.g.: “I sinned against God, so I should be punished”];

·         they were under no obligation to prevent the harm [OR they were powerless to prevent the harm and perhaps even deserved it];

·         the harm constituted an injustice in that it violated their rights (if inflicted by a person), or they possessed qualities (e.g., strength or goodness of character) making them persons whom that harm did not befit [or the opposite; see above];

·         they deserve [or do NOT deserve; see above] sympathy.[6]

The desire for empathy [which is decidedly different from sympathy: sympathy comes from a “rescuing” identification on a Karpman Drama Triangle; empathy is observation-derived understanding] is crucial in that the mere experience of a harmful event is not enough for the emergence of the sense of being a victim. In order to have this sense, there is the need to perceive the harm as undeserved, unjust and immoral, an act that could not be prevented by the victim. The need to obtain empathy and understanding can then emerge.[7]

Individuals harbouring a victim mentality would believe that:[1]

·         their lives are a series of challenges directly aimed at them;

·         most aspects of life are negative and beyond their control;

·         because of the challenges in their lives, they deserve sympathy [possibly leading to the use of emotional blackmail];

·         as they have little power to change things, little action should be taken to improve their problems.

Victim mentality is often the product of violence. [And, as such is widely seen in the polarized, typical borderline organization of the disempowered in the welfare and lower working classes who are Millon’s “petulant”and “impulsive” compensatory narcissists, histrionics, antisocials and/or sadists here… and “self-destructive” and “discouraged” depressives and dependents there.] Those who have it usually had an experiences of crisis or trauma at its roots.[8] In essence, it is a method of avoiding responsibility and criticism, receiving attention and compassion, and evading feelings of genuine anger.

Features

A victim mentality may manifest itself in a range of different behaviours or ways of thinking and talking:

·         Identifying others as the cause for an undesired situation and denying a personal responsibility for one's own life or circumstances.[9]

·         Exhibiting [Complex PTSD-driven] heightened attention levels (hypervigilance) when in the presence of others.

·         [Complex PTSD-driven, obsessive and often paranoid hyper-] Awareness of negative intentions of other people.

·         Believing that other people are generally more fortunate.

·         Gaining relief from feeling pity for oneself or receiving sympathy from others.

It has been typically characterized by attitudes of pessimismself-pity, and repressed anger.[10] 

People with victim mentality may develop convincing and sophisticated explanations in support of such ideas, which they then use to explain to themselves and others of their situation.

People with victim mentality may also be generally:

·         realist, with a general tendency to realistically perceive a situation; yet may lack an awareness or curiosity about the root of actual powerlessness in a situation[11]

·         introspective

·         likely to display [compensatory narcissistic] entitlement and selfishness.[12]

·         defensive: In conversation, reading a negative intention into a neutral question and reacting with a corresponding accusation, hindering the collective solution of problems by recognizing the inherent conflict.

·         [dichotomizing, polarizing, and] categorizing: tending to divide people into "good" and "bad" with no gray zone between them.[9]

·         unadventurous: generally unwilling to take even small and calculated risks; exaggerating the importance or likelihood of possible negative outcomes […or over-adventurous, stimulation-seeking and even risk addicted in polarized, borderline organized fashion]

·         exhibiting learned helplessness: underestimating one's ability or influence in a given situation; feeling powerless [as well as compensatory narcissistic over-estimation of one's ability or influence in a given situation]

·         self-abasing: Putting oneself down even further than others are doing [as well as its compensatory narcissistic opposite, grandiose pseudo-competence]

A victim mentality may be reflected by linguistic markers or habits, such as pretending

·         not to be able to do something ("I can't..."),

·         not to have choices ("I must...", "I have no choice..."), or

·         epistemological humility ("I don't know")

·         [as well as the compensatory narcissistic opposites thereof].

Other features of a victim mentality include:[13]

·         [An histrionic / narcissistic] Need for recognition – the desire for individuals to have their victimhood recognised and affirmed by others. This recognition helps reaffirm positive basic assumptions held by the individual about themselves, others and the world in general. This also implies that [in polarized, borderline organization,] offenders recognise their wrongdoing [here, but not there]. At a collective level this can encourage people to have a positive well-being with regards to traumatic events and to encourage conciliatory attitudes in group conflicts.

·         Moral elitism – the perception of the moral superiority of the self and the immorality of the other side, at both individual and group levels. At an individual level this tends to involve a [polarized, dichotomistic] "black and white" view of morality and the actions of individuals. The individual denies their own aggressiveness and sees themself as weak and persecuted by morally pure, while the other person is seen as threatening, persecuting and immoral, preserving the image of a morally pure self. At a collective level, moral elitism means that groups emphasis the harm inflicted on them, while also seeing themselves as morally superior. This also means that individuals [who develop the complex ego defense of antisocial personality disorder or even outright sadism] see their own violence as justified and moral, while the outgroup's violence is unjustified and morally wrong.

·         Lack of empathy – because [ultra-narcissistic, antisocial / sociopathic] individuals are concerned with their own suffering, they tend to be unwilling to divert interest to the suffering of others. They will either ignore the suffering others or act more selfishly. At the collective level, groups preoccupied with their own victimhood are unwilling to see the outgroup's perspective and show less empathy to their adversaries, while being less likely to responsibility for harms they commit. This results in the group being collectively egoistic.

·         Rumination – victims tend to focus attention on their distress and its causes and consequences rather than solutions. This causes aggression in response to insults or threats and decreases a desire for forgiveness by including a desire for revenge against the perpetrator. Similar dynamics play out at the collective level.

Victims of abuse and manipulation

Victims of abuse and manipulation often get trapped into a self-image of victimisation. The psychological profile of victimisation includes a pervasive sense of helplessness, passivity, loss of control, pessimism, negative thinking, strong feelings of guiltshameself-blame and depression. This way of thinking can lead to hopelessness and despair.[14] It may take a long period of time for therapists to build a trusting relationship with a victim. There frequently exists a distrust of authority figures, and the expectation of being hurt or exploited.[15]


The Wikipedia authors' (because it's evident there are at least two) references can be seen at this link. My own references and resources can bee seen in A CPTSD Library




1 comment:

  1. be careful of victim-blaming. I do think people need to be empowered to own their own emotions and feelings. Don't let someone judge you and tell you want to think or feel. Some of the victim shaming stuff can be exploited to get a victim to back down to abusers. I'm a little worried about the idea that so many "victims" are supposedly making it up.

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