The Feeling is Always Temporary

Those who use the Vipassana style of insight or "mindfulness" meditation come to see in time that all emotions, sensations and feelings are impermanent: They arise, become evident, dissipate and disappear in time. Moreover, they come to see that when emotions, sensations and feelings are allowed to be *as* they are *when* they are, the coming and going of them is more rapid and less discomfiting and agitating.

Virtually everyone I have ever seen who has anxiety or depression has a case of "emotional constipation" that is the result of attempting to deny or resist the direct, conscious, mindful experience -- and *digestion* -- of their shame, guilt, worry, remorse, regret, frustration, resentment, anger or agitation. They do so because they were instructed, trained, conditioned, socialized, habituated and normalized as children to suppress and deny their feelings to avoid being insulted, criticized, judged, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, persecuted, picked on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused by their parents, their older siblings, their playmates or others in the first few years of life. The result of such habituated suppression over 15 or 20 years is ultimately severe depression or "emotional incontinence" ...or a swinging back and forth that looks just like borderline personality disorder.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mind-Body Bridging Therapy (MBBT) and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) were designed to be "emotional emetics" for those with emotional constipation and incontinence. Likewise the 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing, which is a combination of Vipassana mindfulness meditation with the principles of General Semantics.

All of them teach patients how to "be with what *is* in relationship," which is to simply observe without resistance or suppression the coming and going of emotions, sensations and feelings along with the ideas, evaluations, appraisals and judgments we have *about* them. Just sensing them so that they can course through the mental digestive system and be discharged.

One can find out more about "being with what is in relationship" in books like these:

Alpert, R. (“Ram Dass”): Be Here Now, San Francisco: Lama Foundation, 1971.

Brach, T.: Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha, New York: Random House / Bantam, 2004.

Chodron, P.: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, Boston: Shambhala, 2001.

Chodron, P.: Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, Boston: Shambala, 2010.

Deikman, A.: Personal Freedom: On Finding Your Way to the Real World, New York: Bantam, 1976.

Deikman, A.: The Observing Self: Mysticism and Psychotherapy, Boston: Beacon Press, 1982.

de Mello, A.: Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, New York: Doubleday / Image, 1990.

Dyer, W.: Your Erroneous Zones, New York: Avon Books, 1977, 1993.

Ellis, A.; Harper, R.: A Guide to Rational Living, North Hollywood, CA: Melvin Powers, 1961.

Fronsdal, G.: The Buddha Before Buddhism, Boulder, CO: Shambala, 2016.

Goleman, D.: The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience, New York: Putnam & Sons, 1988.

Gurdjieff, G.: Life is Real Only Then, When I Am, New York: Viking, 1974, 1991.

Hart, W.: The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S. N. Goenka, San Francisco: Harper-Collins, 1987.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Full Catastrophe Living: Uasing the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, New York: Dell, 1990.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life: New York: Hyperion, 2004.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Coming to Our Senses, Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness, New York: Hyperion, 2005.

Klein, J.: Beyond Knowledge, Oakland, CA: Non-Duality Press div. of New Harbinger, 1994, 2006.

Kramer, J.: The Passionate Mind: A Manual for Living Creatively with One's Self, Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 1974.

Kramer, J.; Alstad, D.: The Passionate Mind Revisited: Expanding Personal and Social Awareness, Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 2009. 

Krishnamurti, J.: Education and the Significance of Life, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1953) 1975.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: The Krishnamurti Reader, New York: Penguin Arcana, (1954, 1963, 1964) 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.; Huxley, A.: The First & Last Freedom, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1954) 1975.

Krishnamurti, J.: As One Is: To Free the Mind from All Conditioning, Prescott AZ: Hohm Press, (1955) 2007.

Krishnamurti, J.; Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 1st Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1973.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 2nd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1976.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 3rd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1967.

Krishnamurti, J.; Rajagopal, D.: Think on These Things, New York: Harper Perennial, (1964) 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: Freedom from the Known, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1969.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: The Second Penguin Krishnamurti Reader, New York: Penguin Arcana, 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.: Inward Revolution: Bringing About Radical Change in the World, London: Shambala, 1971, 2003.

Krishnamurti, J.: Krishnamurti’s Notebook, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1961) 1976.

Krishnamurti, J.: The Awakening of Intelligence, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1973, 1987.

Krishnamurti, J.: On God, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992.

Krishnamurti, J.: On Fear, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992.

Krishnamurti, J.: On Love and Loneliness, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

Krishnamurti, J.: The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti, New York: HarperCollins, 1995.

Krishnamurti, J.: Total Freedom: The Essential Krishnamurti, New York: HarperCollins, 1996.

Krishnamurti, J.: This Light in Oneself: True Meditation, London: Shambala, 1999.

Kubler-Ross, E.: On Death and Dying, New York: Macmillan, 1969.

Kubler-Ross, E.: Death: The Final Stage if Growth, New York: Scribner, 1997.

Levine, S.: A Gradual Awakening, New York: Anchor Books / Doubleday, 1979, 1989.

Levine, S. & O.: Who Dies? An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, New York: Doubleday, 1982.

Ouspensky, P. D.; In Search of the Miraculous: The Teachings of G. I. Gurdjieff, New York: Harcourt Harvest, (1949) 2001.

Raja, S.: Overcoming Trauma and PTSD: A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT and CBT, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2012.

Ruggiero, V. R.: Beyond Feelings: A Guide to Critical Thinking, 4th Ed., Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing, 1995.

Siegel, D.: The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration, New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2010.

Siegel, D.: Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, New York: Bantam, 2010.

Somov, P.: present perfect: a mindfulness approach to letting go of perfectionism & the need for control, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Somov, P.: the lotus effect: shedding suffering and rediscovering your essential self, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Speeth, K. R.: The Gurdjieff Work, Los Angeles: J. P. Tarcher, 1989.  

Stahl, B.; Goldstein, E.: A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2010.

Tart, C.: Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential, New York: New Science Library, 1987.

Tart, C.: Living the Mindful Life: a handbook for living in the present moment, Boston: Shambala, 1994.

Tart, C.: Mind Science: Meditation Training for Practical People, Napa, CA: Fearless Books, 2013.  

Tolle, E.: The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Novato, CA: New World Library, 1999.

Trungpa, C.: The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation, Boston: Shambala, 1976, 2001.

Trungpa, C.: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Boston: Shambala: 1973, 2002.

Trungpa, C.: The Heart of the Buddha, Boston: Shambala: 1991.

Watts, A.: The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for the Age of Anxiety, New York: Random House, 1951.

Watts, A.: The Way of Zen, New York: Random House / Pantheon, 1957.

Watts, A.: Nature, Man and Woman, New York: Random House, 1958.

Watts, A.: Psychotherapy East and West, New York: Random House / Pantheon, 1961.

Watts, A.: The Book: On the Taboo of Knowing Who You Are, New York: Random House, 1966.

Watts, A.; Al Chung-liang Huang: Tao: The Watercourse Way, New York: Pantheon, 1975. 

Williams, M.; Teasdale, J.; Segal, Z.; Kabat-Zinn, J.: The Mindful Way through Depression, New York: Guilford Press, 2007.

Williams, M.; Penman, D.: Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, New York: Rodale, 2011.

Williams, M.; Poijula, S.: The PTSD Workbook, Second Edition; Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013.