The Tremendous Power of "I Don't Know" & "Beginner's Mind"

The monsters invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied and battered the child's mind because they insisted they knew better. The child struggled to use its own eyes and ears -- its "beginner's mind" -- to find out what was actually the case, but like all children, made mistakes.

The monsters had been trained to believe that everything had to be as *they* saw or heard it, no more and no less because *they* had been invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied and battered themselves. They knew no other way to be. And no other way to treat each other, save to cower and submit, which was not allowed with miniature representations of themselves; worse:  representations that looked and sounded so much like them when they were being hounded into... submission. One generation after another, the monsters begat innocent children they would train to be monsters.

Most of them will never notice their bewilderment -- nor their dysfunctional compensations for it -- unless they are so fortunate as to run into Zen Masters Suzuki Roshi and Seung Sahn, DBT inventor Marsha Linehan or any of these people.

Or Stephen Levine, who -- paraphrasing those zen masters -- wrote, "We discover the presence of bewilderment. We recognize the state of mind that says, 'What do I do now?' when confronted with difficulty, the bewilderment which has for so long leaped impatiently into an insistence on an immediate answer. By not reacting to that state, but instead mindfully responding, we enter these feelings that arise when we feel we no longer have control of the situation, and we stay a moment longer to explore things as they are. We allow bewilderment in rather than compulsively running toward the confusion which turns life into an emergency. Investigating this bewilderment, as if for the first time, we become 'complete beginners' and notice an alternative: another road branching toward spacious pastures and open vistas of 'don't know.'"

Not knowing, allowing the mystery to just be there, and moving out of the compensations, rationalizations, pseudo-certainties and defense mechanisms we learned from the monsters into the "beginner's mind" will seem utterly "backwards" and "wrong" to the beliefs, ideas, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements the monsters taught us. "This is not safe! (I was too hurt as a child to go back there.) I have to protect myself at all times (by either lashing out or hiding)."

Returning to Levine: "The difference between confusion and 'I don't know' is that confusion can only see one way out, and that way is blocked, while 'I don't know' is open to miracles and insights. Pain often calls out for immediate conclusions. The mind implodes. In confusion we are so far away from our selves; in 'I don't know' we are right there watching [as in observing to notice to recognize to acknowledge], fascinated. ... To be a 'complete beginner' is to trust [the vast possibilities that are always there waiting] in 'I don't know.'"

Along with DBT, ACT, MBBT, MBCT and the 10 StEPs, 

some of the paths to I Don't Know and Beginner's Mind:

Alpert, R. (“Ram Dass”): Be Here Now, San Francisco: Lama Foundation, 1971.

Brach, T.: Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha, New York: Random House / Bantam, 2004.

Chodron, P.: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, Boston: Shambhala, 2001.

Chodron, P.: Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, Boston: Shambala, 2010.

Deikman, A.: Personal Freedom: On Finding Your Way to the Real World, New York: Bantam, 1976.

Deikman, A.: The Observing Self: Mysticism and Psychotherapy, Boston: Beacon Press, 1982.

de Mello, A.: Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, New York: Doubleday / Image, 1990.

Dyer, W.: Your Erroneous Zones, New York: Avon Books, 1977, 1993.

Ellis, A.; Harper, R.: A Guide to Rational Living, North Hollywood, CA: Melvin Powers, 1961.

Fronsdal, G.: The Buddha Before Buddhism, Boulder, CO: Shambala, 2016.

Goleman, D.: The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience, New York: Putnam & Sons, 1988.

Gurdjieff, G.: Life is Real Only Then, When I Am, New York: Viking, 1974, 1991.

Hart, W.: The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S. N. Goenka, San Francisco: Harper-Collins, 1987.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Full Catastrophe Living: Uasing the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, New York: Dell, 1990.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life: New York: Hyperion, 2004.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Coming to Our Senses, Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness, New York: Hyperion, 2005.

Klein, J.: Beyond Knowledge, Oakland, CA: Non-Duality Press div. of New Harbinger, 1994, 2006.

Kramer, J.: The Passionate Mind: A Manual for Living Creatively with One's Self, Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 1974.

Kramer, J.; Alstad, D.: The Passionate Mind Revisited: Expanding Personal and Social Awareness, Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 2009. 

Krishnamurti, J.: Education and the Significance of Life, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1953) 1975.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: The Krishnamurti Reader, New York: Penguin Arcana, (1954, 1963, 1964) 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.; Huxley, A.: The First & Last Freedom, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1954) 1975.

Krishnamurti, J.: As One Is: To Free the Mind from All Conditioning, Prescott AZ: Hohm Press, (1955) 2007.

Krishnamurti, J.; Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 1st Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1973.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 2nd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1976.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 3rd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1967.

Krishnamurti, J.; Rajagopal, D.: Think on These Things, New York: Harper Perennial, (1964) 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: Freedom from the Known, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1969.

Krishnamurti, J.; Luytens, M.: The Second Penguin Krishnamurti Reader, New York: Penguin Arcana, 1970.

Krishnamurti, J.: Inward Revolution: Bringing About Radical Change in the World, London: Shambala, 1971, 2003.

Krishnamurti, J.: Krishnamurti’s Notebook, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, (1961) 1976.

Krishnamurti, J.: The Awakening of Intelligence, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1973, 1987.

Krishnamurti, J.: On God, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992.

Krishnamurti, J.: On Fear, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992.

Krishnamurti, J.: On Love and Loneliness, San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

Krishnamurti, J.: The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti, New York: HarperCollins, 1995.

Krishnamurti, J.: Total Freedom: The Essential Krishnamurti, New York: HarperCollins, 1996.

Krishnamurti, J.: This Light in Oneself: True Meditation, London: Shambala, 1999.

Kubler-Ross, E.: On Death and Dying, New York: Macmillan, 1969.

Kubler-Ross, E.: Death: The Final Stage if Growth, New York: Scribner, 1997.

Levine, S.: A Gradual Awakening, New York: Anchor Books / Doubleday, 1979, 1989.

Levine, S. & O.: Who Dies? An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, New York: Doubleday, 1982.

Levine, S.: Healing Into Life & Death, Anchor Books / Doubleday, 1984.

Marra, T.: Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004.

Marra, T.: Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Private Practice, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2005.

Ouspensky, P. D.; In Search of the Miraculous: The Teachings of G. I. Gurdjieff, New York: Harcourt Harvest, (1949) 2001.

Raja, S.: Overcoming Trauma and PTSD: A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT and CBT, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2012.

Ruggiero, V. R.: Beyond Feelings: A Guide to Critical Thinking, 4th Ed., Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing, 1995.

Siegel, D.: The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration, New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2010.

Siegel, D.: Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, New York: Bantam, 2010.

Somov, P.: present perfect: a mindfulness approach to letting go of perfectionism & the need for control, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Somov, P.: the lotus effect: shedding suffering and rediscovering your essential self, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Speeth, K. R.: The Gurdjieff Work, Los Angeles: J. P. Tarcher, 1989.  

Stahl, B.; Goldstein, E.: A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2010.

Tart, C.: Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential, New York: New Science Library, 1987.

Tart, C.: Living the Mindful Life: a handbook for living in the present moment, Boston: Shambala, 1994.

Tart, C.: Mind Science: Meditation Training for Practical People, Napa, CA: Fearless Books, 2013.  

Tolle, E.: The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Novato, CA: New World Library, 1999.

Trungpa, C.: The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation, Boston: Shambala, 1976, 2001.

Trungpa, C.: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Boston: Shambala: 1973, 2002.

Trungpa, C.: The Heart of the Buddha, Boston: Shambala: 1991.

Watts, A.: The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for the Age of Anxiety, New York: Random House, 1951.

Watts, A.: The Way of Zen, New York: Random House / Pantheon, 1957.

Watts, A.: Nature, Man and Woman, New York: Random House, 1958.

Watts, A.: Psychotherapy East and West, New York: Random House / Pantheon, 1961.

Watts, A.: The Book: On the Taboo of Knowing Who You Are, New York: Random House, 1966.

Watts, A.; Al Chung-liang Huang: Tao: The Watercourse Way, New York: Pantheon, 1975. 

Williams, M.; Teasdale, J.; Segal, Z.; Kabat-Zinn, J.: The Mindful Way through Depression, New York: Guilford Press, 2007.

Williams, M.; Penman, D.: Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, New York: Rodale, 2011.

Williams, M.; Poijula, S.: The PTSD Workbook, Second Edition; Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013.

Revised February 22, 2017.